With Lily's Grandad passing away, I've had to be there for my Mum. She's dealing with it brilliantly really and holding together really well though I have no doubt that behind closed doors it's a different story.
I went back to work last week for the first time since I left to have Lily. I didn't really want to go back to be honest, I have gotten used to being a house wife and my husband has gotten used to not cooking!! Going back has been a help though. I'm not sat around the house doing nothing all day. I've had to get up and even though I'm not officially off Maternity Leave until the 14th, I'm looking forward to going back now and getting into a routine again.
My other daughter was back at school last week too. They don't seem to be doing very much at the minute lol - she's coming home telling me that they have done nothing but play so far so I'm hoping that they will knuckle down soon and get on with some work. They've just had 6 weeks to do all their playing lol
Lily should have been 6 months this month and it's hitting me a little harder than I thought. I'm finding myself quite teary and upset at odd times of the day and I'm crying at the smallest of things - things that I shouldn't even be crying at!
We should be able to get Lily's headstone soon. We couldn't put a stone in for 6 months because of the ground in the churchyard so hopefully it won't be too much longer. I find it hard to visit her at the moment as there is nothing there but a plaque with her name on and a small mound of earth. I can't remember the last time I went but I do speak to her everyday. She's all around me and I think she understands why I don't go to the churchyard.
My husband and I have been trying to think of ways to raise funds for the hospice where Lily spent her last few hours. We've come up with a family fun day and have been in touch with Martin House Childrens Hospice about this and they are happy for us to do it. I have to call the person at Martin House tomorrow to speak to them about it so hopefully we can do this and leave a legacy from Lily in this way.
